Meet My Archnemesis

the bitchy bottlecap

Let me start this story at the beginning...

Monday morning I woke up with a terrible headache, I tried to make it to work but it just wasn't happening.  So, I took some drugs checked my work email and went back to bed.  The rest of the day was spent doing chores very slowly. 

Around 2:00pm I needed to print something and the printer ran out of paper midway through the job.  I promptly loaded more...PAPER JAM!  I have a deep level of animosity for these all-in-one printers and mostly think they were designed to be over sized paper weights. 

Headache + broken printer = one hacked off redhead.

Approximately, 30 seconds later my precious 34 day old iPhone 4S stopped working.  After a screaming match with Irwin the 3rd I realized the exact reason that I name electronics.  Yelling at Irwin is easier than yelling at a just a phone.  The husband escorted me to the Apple store doctor.  With desperation in my eyes I explained to the nice man that my phone just stopped working! It won't turn on, it won't sync, holy crap...it's been hanging out with the paperweight printer!

Headache + broken printer + non working cell phone = redhead warning sirens

About 30 seconds later we left the Apple store with an iPhone that was no longer in 'hard sleep'.  Do you know what hard sleep is?  Yeah, I didn't either.  A bit of advice...if your iPhone goes black and won't respond to button pushing, plug it into the wall jack and hold down both buttons.  I just saved you a trip to the mall, you're welcome.

Anyway, back to the printer, Mr. Herbert Paulie.  The right side would take the paper just fine, but the left wouldn't.  This resulted in a paper jam each time I attempted to print.  I tracked down the HP support number and was connected with a nice girl named Alma.  We tried a number of things and about 30 minutes into the call she asked me shine a flash light in the printer to make sure there were no bits of paper stuck.  And that's when I saw my enemy, the cap to the 20 ounce Diet Coke I had treated myself to on Sunday. 

EPIC FAIL.