KSME

**I have been absent in the blog world recently. Not because I hate it, but because I am focusing on work, health, and most importantly, relationships with family and friends. I promise to do better, hopefully.**

Our 2nd wedding anniversary is fast approaching! The traditional gift for this occasion is cotton, who came up with these? Either way I am a lover of traditions, so I shall follow this one too. Tradition is what brings me to the topic of the blog post, changing my name, although I didn't follow this tradition blindly or without thought. It wasn't quite as easy as a 2nd Anniversary gift...
I have to tell you, I never really thought about not changing my name when I got married. Almost everyone I knew changed their name when I was younger and I thought that was just what you did, I probably assumed it was law or something. Just something that girls did. Growing up, I had a few friends that had different last names than a parent. Mostly the result of a divorce, a few were because the couple never married, and a few I really didn't know the reason and probably never thought much about it.
My parents were married in April of 1977. I will pause for a moment of great awe and wonderment of their more than 36 years of marriage. *gasp*

Now that you've picked your jaw up off the floor...I've never known my mother as anything other than her married name, obviously, since I didn't arrive more than 36 years ago. I always knew that her last name was my grandparents surname prior to marriage. I've seen the invitations sent out for their wedding and not only are they preciously perfect, but they clearly state her name...the name that she had for nearly 22 years. Her monogram didn't change and she gained a last name with 3 fewer letters, maybe she was excited about the shorter signature? Or the future of explaining that it isn't spelled like the planet, you need an additional 'R'. The most likely reason is that her mother changed her name and her sister had changed her name before that and so on, Tradition.

 

Historically speaking, marriage ensured a woman's survival, brawn was needed more to survive than brains. Men worked, women had children, lets cut a super long story short here and say that if a woman was married their name was changed to keep the family wealth safe and secure. Women that did not marry were usually forced to be a servant or a prostitute, but times have changed and you don't have to be a big strong man to earn money for the family. Many women are the primary bread winners or equal contributors. Being single past a certain age doesn't mean you have to adopt a multitude of cats and live in shame, and I am thankful for that progress. 

I know a number of ladies that have opted to not change their name or hyphenate, good for them, to each their own. I have no problem with whatever a lady, or gentleman for that matter, chooses to do upon marriage, civil union, etc. This only affects me when trying to properly address an envelope. I simply reference my dear friend Emily Post for the best way to address these lovely folks in my life and while they sometimes require more pen ink or an additional line to fit everything in, I'm happy to do my best to accommodate their choices and be respectful in the process.
That brings me to my choice...My soon-to-be husband and I went to the Tulsa County Court House to get our marriage licence just a couple of days before our big day. 

 

don't we look thrilled?!

We were accompanied by one of his groomsmen as we entered the out dated and slightly sterile looking building. There are no warm and fuzzies to be found in this specific court house, it's an odd place to start a marriage in my opinion, but a necessary evil. As we presented the documents and started the paperwork I felt my stomach drop. Was I really about to change the name I had carried for 30 years, 11 weeks, and 6 days? The name that my parents probably spent countless hours picking and choosing for their first child and only daughter?
I had weighed the different options in my head...

 

--Simply change my last name, keep the first and middle the same.
--Change my last name, make my maiden name my middle name.

--Hyphenate

--Change nothing at all

 

A few weeks before I had settled on dropping my given middle name and replacing it with my maiden name. I felt it was a good way to keep a part of my family's heritage with me and this way my name wouldn't be super long. It seemed simple, clean, and easy. I was set and prepared to make the change. Then I told my parents of my plan and realized that my mother and I share a middle name. A simple three letter name and I felt that this was my link to her, my last name was clearly the link to my father and I that I didn't want to lose either.

 

That's when I remembered one of my favorite episodes of Friends, when Phoebe and Paul Rudd (I can't remember his characters name) change their names, and realized that I could do whatever I wanted to do... I truly had the power. It was done, my choice had been made and I now am proud to say that I have 4 names, my monogram is messy, but my initials are quite amazing. KSME.

 

Each of my 'name's' has a special meaning to me and I honestly don't care what anyone thinks about it. My name is a beautiful equation of Myself (K)+ Mom (S)+ Dad (M) + (E) Husband, and when you look at it that way it's clear why I made this choice. On a daily basis I use my first name and my last name, myself + husband, but in the middle are the two people that made me everything that I was before I started my married life. They symbolize the hidden factors that make me...well, me. You don't see them on a daily basis, but they are there and are strong as ever.

 

So, there you have it.

Talk to you soon Blog world!

Superman

Hey Y'all!

So, I've been away from my little blog for a little more than two weeks. I'm glad to be back in action! Many things have happened since we last had a chat, so prepare yourself for the update.

August 10th
I got word from my cousin that my Grandpa was admitted to the local hospital. He was very sick, shaking and I was worried. When I hear things like this my heart drops and I just don't know what to do. I called my Mom and she promised to keep me in the loop...we learned that it was pancreatitis (Sophie Jean had it once too!) and he would be put on medicines to improve the situation. He will need to have his gall bladder removed once his current health improves.

August 11th
My Mama's Birthday!
My parents and brother headed to Kansas to visit Grandpa. They said he looked better and seemed to be on the road to recovery. Later that evening we learned that it was very possible that he suffered a stroke. It took about 3 minutes for the news to sink in, but once it did I knew that I wanted to go. I wanted to be there with him, but knew I needed to stay put until we really knew what was going on.

August 12th
With the confirmed stroke the best place for my Grandpa was going to be Wesley Hospital in Wichita, KS. They transported him midday with a large group of family following. I knew that all of those folks would be plenty of physical support and that the best thing I could do was pray, hard.

August 13th
Each day we learned a little more about his condition. We knew that the battle was going to be tough, but that he would win the war. They told us to prepare for him to be in a wheelchair for awhile, maybe forever. I just knew deep down that he wouldn't allow that to happen. He's too stubborn for that.

August 14th
At this point I knew that I wasn't going to be needed in Kansas, not that the help wouldn't have been welcomed. I am proud to say that I have the most amazing family. There has been someone by his side since all this started! Grandpa continued to improve and they told him he would be moving to a rehabilitation facility on Friday. He could plan on being there for 6 weeks.

August 15th
I finally got to talk to my Grandpa on the phone. His speech was a little slurry, but he sounded like he was in good spirits. They started him on medication to prevent another stroke and confirmed the plans to move him the following day. He also sat up in bed almost totally on his own! HUGE!

August 16th

Grandpa was moved to a rehabilitation facility, not too far from the hospital. He starts therapy, brushes his own teeth and stands up! This is when I knew he was going to exceed every expectation by leaps and bounds!

August 17th
I received a few updates that Grandpa was doing well. He was having some trouble sleeping, but seemed to be in good spirits and improving. I was cleaning the house when I got a text message that made my heart swell and tears stream straight down my face. HE WALKED!! They were small steps, but steps he took with is own strength! I think there was a collective Praise the Lord from Jersey to Florida, through Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Kansas. Prayers answered.

August 18th - 20th

Grandpa continues to defy the odds, he improves faster than any of us could have imagined. A steady stream of friends and family make their way through his private room. He received support from so many, including a wonderful prayer blanket made by my cousin Kay and flowers from my family. He even made a thank you video for us! In the video we can all tell that his speech is much improved since the last time we talked.

August 21st
My birthday! Yes, I'm 32. Gosh - that's insane.
Birthday's are great aren't they?! People you haven't talked to in years post on your facebook wall. You get cards and text messages from your friends and family. Your Dad send you an email before dawn so he can be the first one to tell you once you wake up...and he barley beats out your Mama. Your husband makes a big deal about it for days on end with gifts and signs. All of the above are wonderful, priceless.

What I look forward to the most on my birthday is my Grandma singing happy birthday. I could be in the worst mood ever and the sound of her melodic voice will make me smile from ear to ear. I wasn't sure that she would call with everything going on, but she did and it was amazing.

Just an hour or so later my Aunt Kim called she wished me a happy birthday and then I heard my Grandpa's voice. 'Happy Birthday, Baby!" Oh my, was that a great sound...clear and with barley a hint of a slur. It was one of my favorite birthday presents!

August 22nd
So, here we are...12 days of emotion, fear, strength, and faith...

For those of you that don't know, my Grandpa isn't known by his given name of Charles. He's had a nickname since he was a child and a few years ago I realized that I had no idea why. When we asked him, he said that when he was very little his father and uncle would toss him around, play with him rough and it seemed that no matter what they did he wouldn't cry.

They started calling him Tuffy. He's earned his nickname over and over again throughout his life. I think that he, without question, has earned it again over the past 12 days.

Oh - and remember when they said he would be in the rehabilitation facility for 6 weeks? Well, how about September 10th - just a little more than THREE WEEKS! He'll be headed home and will only need a walker to get around.

This guy isn't just 'Tuff'...he's Superman.

Everyone has a favorite beach...

Does everyone have a favorite beach?

This girl is from the wonderful, but landlocked, State of Oklahoma. We have a large number of ponds and lakes. Growing up my Grandparents lived on Grand Lake...I spent countless summers jumping off the diving board on the dock and water skiing on our boat. 

My Grandfather worked on boats and operated his own Marina. They had a house, a shop, a cabin and two docks at the end of a quiet cove. When my brother and I were really young we had skis that were tied together to make it easier, I swear we could ski for days.

So...No, I don't have a favorite beach.

I've seen a good number of beaches...Florida, Texas, Mexico, Bahamas, and New Jersey.  All were quite lovely and I am very impressed with the Jersey Shore, but none will compare to the memories I carry from the Grand Lake O' the Cherokees.

10 Things You Shouldn't Know About Me

 

 

... But I'm gonna tell you!

Beware - things are about to get awkward ... or completely awesome. It could seriously go either way.

1. Big Toe excluded - I have really small toenails, like I once asked for french manicure and not only was I denied the lady then proceeded to call over all of the other nail technicians to laugh at my tiny toenails. My pinky toe nail is basically just painted skin.
2. I organize my closed in the following manner - tops by sleeve length (strapless, sleeveless, short, half, 3/4, long and then sweater long) ... Skirt by length then color, Pants by length then color, and Dresses by sleeve length then by color and in the back is fancy dresses.  Obsessive? Perhaps.

 

3. I know that I'm over an illness when I crave nachos. This craving is not as easily satisfied in the Northeast.

4. If leave shoes out for more than 15 minutes and my husband is home he will put them 'away'...and I may never find them again. 

5. I have a scar on my right inner thigh, just above my knee from a possibly cancerous mole I had removed many years ago. The doctor promised it would go away, it obviously didn't....and I'm bitter.

6. I have a mild obsession with PitBill. The rapper, not the dog breed. My husband isn't allowed to speak while he's on TV, no exceptions.
7. I can type and ten-key really fast. I recently beat a coworker in a typing test, with a brand new keyboard, after lunch, with no caffeine in my system. #MicDropBAM

 

8. I know all of the words to American Pie by Don McLean. I can sing it without the music. I have no idea how I gained this talent.

9. If I break a bone, cut myself badly, stub my toe, or have a hang nail I have the same response. Therefore, you never know the degree that I've injured myself.

10. I can sort through paperwork really fast. It's impressive.

My Favorite Summer Activities

 

 

 

In no particular order...

 

Campfires, Hot Dogs, and Smores
Early/Late Summer cold grass between my toes
Potato Salad, Macaroni Salad, anything with a crapload of Mayo
Driving too fast with the windows down and the music up
The smell of freshly cut grass
Family vacations

Least Favorite

Sunburns

Three Wishes

Okay - I'm a little late, blame the Royals/Mets game and the fact that it takes a solid hour and half to make it from Flushing to Jersey. 

 

If you had three wishes what would they be and why?

I better make this good, it was my suggestion for the challenge! And now I'm singing Under Pressure...that's gonna be stuck in my head for days. Great.
Making the assumption that all things are possible with these wishes...

1. Teleportation - anywhere, anytime - I would be able to see my family in a heartbeat rather than hours on a plane. The morning commute would be just a blink of an eye. I do enjoy driving so I don't think I would use it all the time, but it would really help with the cost of airline tickets and daily gasoline costs.
2. Health - I'd wish for my family and future family to be in good health for their lifetime. I'd like to wish this for everyone, but without suffering there would be a lack of compassion. Okay, I'm getting too deep into this, aren't I?  Health all around!
3. Wealth - Not like super Mega Millions lottery riches, but like enough money that it's not such a primary focus. Bills paid off, enough to live comfortably, and plenty to help those that are less fortunate.

There you have it! I'm going to post this now because if I don't I'm sure I'll change my list 10 more times. Only three wishes, can I have 10?!

Who Am I?

Let the challenge begin!

August 1st - Who Am I?

Well, did you know that I have an 'About Me' tab? Check it out!

If you couldn't tell by the title of the blog...I am an Oklahoma girl living in the wilds of New Jersey. My husband and my doggie Miss Sophie Jean are my co-pilots in this crazy mess and we're just living life one day at a time.

I blog a lot about family, friends, and fun. You'll often see posts with healthy, or not healthy at all, recipes and my ongoing journey to become a health nut with abs of steel and a love of push ups.  So far...I am none of those things, but maybe one day!

I work a regular boring 8:30 to 5:00 gig and use my mad couponing skills to complete my part time job in the evenings. I seriously enjoy running and would live life in workout pants if were social acceptable.

I have an irrational fear of clowns and dolphins, creepy. I dislike the color pink with a passion and am mildly obsessed with pedicures, even though I'm ticklish and have been known to kick during the scrubbing portion. 

I believe in pearls, class, and Southern Midwest manners. I will call you ma'am or sir no matter your age, please and thank you, you're welcome.

I'm the proud owner of an abnormally large scarf collection. I have scars on my hands because I've never been good with a knife and I truly believe that ranch dressing is a condiment. 

Did I miss anything? 
Probably, but that's more than you really wanted to know, I'm sure!

Welcome!

Weigh In Wednesday / July 31, 2013

Oh my Lordy! This week flew by, didn’t it? I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with no time for blogging, but the Northeast Bloggers and I have a fun challenge for August! Stay tuned!

We had a busy weekend filled with delicious food that wasn’t on my diet plan, but you don’t often get to go to a beautiful wedding and indulge in yummy goodness. So, I did and I paid for it on the scale. On top of that, it isn’t every day that your husband’s Grandfather celebrates the big 8-0...more yummy food!

So, the bad news is that a bunch of the great progress I made last week went away with each scrumptious bite. The good news is that I have managed to make an amazing come back and still drop a little since last week! YIPPEE!!

Here is my list ‘o weights ... I prefer to list them all, it keeps me focused on the long term, the big picture and helps me find the motivation to keep pushing!

2013 Starting Weight – 169.0
May 22, 2013 – 151.2
June 19, 2013 – 151.8
June 26, 2013 – 152.6
July 3, 2013 – 151.4
July 22, 2013 – 155.6
July 24, 2013 – 151.4
July 31, 2013 – 149.8

YES! I managed to drop 1.6 pounds over the past week! I could not be happier! I’m almost 20 pounds lighter than I was in January and that is exciting y’all!

Update on Goals

Weight – Be in the 140’s before August
DONE - Okay, so just barely...I couldn't have cut that one any closer! Since I met my goal I will make a new one ...
Be in the 130's before September. OMG. Can it be done?!

Running – 10 mile LSD before the end of August
On the Fence – My ankle is still not right, I attempted a short run tonight (2.5 miles) and about a half mile in I felt really good, but toward the end I really just feel like I'm slapping my feet against the pavement. After stretching for a long time I can feel the soreness already. We may be rethinking the Route 66 Marathon due to my ankle and Dad’s feet. Such is life, maybe 2014 will be our year!

Fitness – Complete 90% of scheduled workouts, Increase Core and Arm Strength
Well Done – I cut one workout short, but other than that I have completed everything that I have planned. I can tell that my arms and core are both getting stronger.

Insanity Review
For those of you that are considering the Insanity program, which I know has been out for quite some time and I’m totally late to the party on this one, I highly endorse it.

I have completed the first 10 days of the program and the improvement that I have seen so far has been amazing. I still can’t do the entire workout without taking breaks, heck I usually can’t make it through the warm-up without taking a break! I don’t think I’ll be invited to be on the next video shoot, but I’m hanging in there.

After I finish the first month I plan to repeat it before moving on to the second month. I really want to be able to do the full workout before moving on and I’m far from that. Repeating the month will still be super challenging since you can control the intensity yourself.

Weigh In Wednesday / July 24, 2013

I’m back for Weigh In Wednesday! I can see the excitement in your eyes!

The past couple of weeks have been hectic. Every time I take a trip I seem to get thrown all out of whack. But I am back and better than ever, well...kinda.

My left ankle is still giving me fits. Once I get warmed up I can run very well, but the next day I can barely walk. I’ve taken to stretching it a ton and it seems to be helping. Anyone have any problems with Achilles Tendonitis? I’m 99% sure that it’s the source of the pain. I have wrapped it for extended periods and am considering getting a Strassburg Sock, but those are mostly for Planters Fasciitis...I don’t think I have that.  Anywho... suggestions are welcomed!

I gained some weight over the past few weeks, nothing major, but putting pounds back on that you worked so hard to get off is very frustrating. I stuck to my July plan for 15 days, but with my heel pain I wasn’t able to continue, I was disappointed. I evaluated my food intake and while it wasn’t horrible, it wasn’t great either. I have opted to start ‘Eating Clean’ and I LOVE IT. I’m sure I will post more on this in the future.

So, here are my weights...I’m including a few dates mostly for personal tracking purposes.

2013 Starting Weight – 169.0
May 22, 2013 – 151.2
June 19, 2013 – 151.8
June 26, 2013 – 152.6
July 3, 2013 – 151.4
July 22, 2013 – 155.6
July 24, 2013 – 151.4
So, I’m back to the weight I was earlier this month, despite gaining to a weight I hadn’t been at since April. I call this VICTORY. I’m back on track and have made some very attainable goals for my weight, running, and overall fitness.

Goals
Weight – be in the 140’s before August
Running – 10 miles LSD's before the end of August
Fitness – Complete 90% of scheduled workouts, Increase Core and Arm Strength

Confessional Friday / Guilty Pleasures



Linking with A Blonde Ambition



Happy Friday Y’all!!

It’s time to confess my guilty pleasures...

Pointless TV Shows
I already confessed my love of Dance Moms, but you can go ahead and add The Real Housewives of Orange County, NYC, and Jersey to the list...and...The Kardashians. *hangs head in shame*

Sabra Hummus Cups
Adorable and delicious. I could have 3 or 4 a day, but I limit myself to one as an afternoon snack. I need to stop, they are taking over my life.

Lottery Scratch Off Tickets

I am a very fiscally responsible person, to the point that I annoy my husband and co-workers. I’m the crazy lady with a stack of coupons at checkout and completely unnecessary products in her ‘stockpile’ because they were free or moneymakers. Seriously, if you’re in need of Menopause meds shoot me an email. I digress...this is one itch that I have to scratch from time to time. I allot myself $20 per month, that’s $240 per year *gasp*, to feed my craving. When I win I use the money to buy more...and so on. I may need an intervention.

 

Sales
It is incredibly difficult for me to walk away from a good sale. Seriously, if something is 75% off I feel the urge to buy it even if I don’t need it or it doesn’t fit. You would be shocked at the amount of ‘goal’ skirts, jeans, etc I have in my closet. One day I will wear them...and they will be terrible out of style.

Hot Tea

Everyday I have at least 4 cups. Okay, two of those cups are in an insanely large mug that holds way more than the 8oz ‘cup’. No fancy stuff, straight Lipton, please! I do have a goal of making my tea sans Splenda.

Dole Southwest Salad Kits

If you haven’t tried these yet, do it. NOW! You will eat the entire bag

Alright folks, you go have yourself a wonderful weekend! Stay cool!



Families Afloat

I apologize for the week long blog-break. The past week has been long and short, quick and slow all at the same time...strange how things work like that, huh?

When I have even just one day off of work I have to make sure things are in order, I don’t want to leave my co-workers with a mess to clean up. So, Wednesday and Thursday were rather stressful last week. On top of that I had to jam two days of my part-time job into one...Thursday was brutal.

The alarm clock forced me to wake up at 5:00am on Friday morning. I stumbled out of bed, mostly due to an aching Achilles Tendon, and managed to get ready for Mr. E to drive me to the airport in Newark. Lucky for us there was very little traffic and it was smooth sailing. I managed to purchase a breakfast sammich and coffee before boarding the tiny jet bound for Omaha. The flight was smooth and even though I had the pillow that still slightly smells like my parents house, ahhh...home, I wasn’t able to sleep a wink. Too much excitement! Remember when I told you how excited I was for the Dailey / Marrs Family Reunion?!

As we approached Nebraska I noticed a familiar quilt pattern of Midwestern farms, quite lovely. I was pleased with the small and friendly airport. I passed the awesome Omaha Steaks kiosk and retrieved my bag from the baggage claim, impressive quick service!

Mom was very excited to be in Omaha!

My parents arrived somewhat quickly with big hugs and smiles! I jumped in the front seat of the Caddy as we made our way South to Plattsmouth. We settled into The Fitzgerald Hotel on Main Street, grabbed some lunch, and napped. A wonderful afternoon, in my opinion, that led to a great evening of catching up with family at my cousins Kathy and Tim’s house on Beaver Lake. They were amazing hosts and the Gordon Family planned a fantastic reunion!

We made our way back to the airport around midnight to pick up brother. He hopped a flight from Tulsa to Denver to Omaha, seems normal to me, in order to meet up with us and the rest of the family.

Saturday was full of fun, catching up, and cardboard boats. Yes, you can successfully build a boat out of cardboard and a few more materials that will carry an adult in water, very well in fact! Just ask my team, the winners! If you need a tutorial on how this can be done let me know.

Marrs Clan Building our boat

Nate talking with our Great Aunt Alma

Our Captain ready to race!

Victory!

First Place!

Our Trophy!

Dad, Me and Mom

Brother and Me

I don't know that I could properly put into words how wonderful it is to have so many people in one group that love each other so much. Many of us keep up on Facebook and see each other just once a year, if we are lucky. We gather for the joy of reunions and weddings, comfort each other as we grow old and say goodbye to the ones we have lost. We live in many states ... Oklahoma to New Jersey, Kansas to Massachusetts, Nebraska to Washington, Arizona to Tennessee, Texas to California.  We welcome new members with open arms and watch as the little families within the larger one grow.

This was our 28th reunion and the group is larger than when we started back in 1985. My baby brother was actually a baby, my grandparents were young, and my parents weren't as old as I am now. No matter how much I complain about the little things or how much my heart hurts from the negatives of this crazy world, I know that there is family. This group and the family on my Mother's side has helped make me who I am and I am grateful.

I am counting the days until our reunion next year!

Until then ... all are welcome to visit me in the NJ / NYC area ... I have a spare bed with your name on it!